Too young, too horny

I'm 28 years old and there are kids half my age having kids. There are girls who are on their third child and I don't have any. I don't understand women really. Yes I am one two,but sometimes I feel like I'm not normal. I met a few girls who lived through similar situations as I did and they have kids with two baby daddy's. My mom never gave me the talk and I didn't attend the class about safety sex. All I knew was that in the eyes of our lord it was frowned upon if it was not with your life partner. That is what kept me from doing naughty things all through high school. Actually what scared me the most id seeing a pregnant girl at school with her large belly, trying to graduate. I told myself, I won't be that lady. I asked why did you decide to have a baby. A lot of them thought it was the best thing to do because they didn't believe in abortion and some said they couldn't pay the cost of an abortion. When I really think about it. It was the fact that I knew when someone was looking at me inappropriate. It made me feel violated in a way I found thoughts of that repulsing. The time that I decided to go through with going all the way was with a boyfriend who kept insisting. It took a long time, but I finally said yes because my adviser at the time told that you might as well get it done because everyone else will keep trying to take it. So what advice can I say to all these young girls and their parents. I believe the talk is important, but I also think that parents should share their experience with their daughters and sons. Because when you parents tell you I wish I could have waited a little longer to give you a better future, it really changes the equation. My next thought on this, is don't allow them to date at an early stage. It should be until college graduation. Okay, realistically college. Even if your daughter or son don't have sex before college, by that time they will be a little more mature. In addition to encouraging education, tell them that they are smart and they will do something great. I remember my teachers always telling me, you are smart and you will do great things. It really made me special and no one was going to take it away. But don't wait until your child is a teenager, you should start the prep talk at a young age. I keep telling my six year old nephew that no girlfriends until college. That he is very handsome and smart. One day he will be an important man and he will have a better life than all of us put together, but he has to go to college first. No girlfriends or auntie is going to have to marry him early. It scares him a little, but he already knows he wants to go to college. I'm just being sarcastic about the marriage part, just so he thinks its very serious.

Meeting Someone New

Meeting people isn't about just walking up to them ans introducing yourself. Actually yes it is. We live in a society where we feel there is a bubble around us no one should cross unless it is okay with the other person. But how do you become friends if that bubble wasn't crossed in the first place? The thing about meeting people is that we all have something in common with every one and we don't always see it. We choose who we want to share our likes with and our dislikes. Some one once told me that we had to be strangers to be friends. What does that mean really? Well my interpretation is, we are strangers to each other and we become friends when we respect that. I love each and every one of my friends. Yet I also try not to cross boundaries. I don't want to loose their friendship over something so simple. It may not be a big deal to me, but it might be a big deal to them. I don't know if you follow me. See we know how we are personally, yet we also know what we are not. The same concept goes for our friends. We know how our friends are and how they are not. There will always be a time when we connect and disconnect.
When I met one of my friends I felt they were quite and anti- social. I poked them on purpose. He could have gotten annoyed and moved away as soon as it happened. I know it was childish, but I did it again. This time  he looked at me confused and a little annoyed. That's when I tried my best impression of the joker from the dark knight, "why so serious?" And that made both of us laugh.
I don't recommend you poke at a random stranger, but I do recommend asking a question to break the ice. If you genially want to get to know this person, then why not?
It can also be stressful when you have the media saying all the negative things going on in the world. The truth is, that we will never get to know a person completely 100% because they are always giving us a percentage of themselves. I know you think your friends will always try to give you their 100%, but how can they when they are trying to figure out who they are their whole life? even people who think they know themselves pretty well also find out something knew about themselves every once in a while. So when you consider talking to that burista, just ask them a question. Let the conversation flow and then you will see if you would like to stay in contact.

Trying to stay focus

There are times I get lost and I need to find my way back to the main road. It's so frustrating how plenty of obstacles come your way and then it makes you feel like you are not going to get were you want to go so why keep trying anyway. I get so frustrated sometimes I think that what if I just stick to what I am good now and then I might have time later, but the truth is that later is not guaranteed and now is only temporary because it will soon be past. I have to take a deep breath and say, the end result is my goal and even if I don't reach it I will die trying. I'm also tired of people giving me a hard time thinking it will help me move faster. They see everything travel faster than the speed of light in their minds. Light has to travel many miles in order for us to receive it which is why we have the measurement of light years. In our minds, we can travel to the past and future in a matter of seconds. The past is a sure thing and the future is a prediction defined by our current situation. Because the future is not set in stone, it helps us continue to be motivated or it destroys us. Things will always happen which we clearly don't understand yet. When I sit and think of all the possibilities my life will end up doing, the one that makes me the most happiest is were I originally wanted to be in before all my doubts. It is there were my heart feel a thrill and a warm feeling. Just thinking of my possible future makes me happy and I stop doubting myself. I go back to the drawing board and continue going as I did before, patient and focused. Rome wasn't build in three days and even god took seven days to create the earth. Why should I feel like my situation should be any different. Just because everyone else thinks I should already be were I need to be doesn't mean I should. It is time that has made me humble and mature, so with time I will achieve to be the greatest I can be. People who are thought of being great took a long time to get were they needed to get. Nothing goes as quickly as we see it in our minds. Nothing goes as smoothly as we hope. If you look at the roads we drive on, really look closely, no I mean closer. You can see that the road is imperfect. That the road is not a straight line. There are particles of dust in the way. Pieces of rocks in the gaps and the weather is never the same all year round. So when the next person tries to ask you why aren't you moving fast enough, tell them that your actually in constant motion and because they are moving relative to you, it looks like you are standing still.

Relationship advice that will change everything for women

I’m tired of men coming out with relationship advice for woman. Everything is the same in their writing. They tell us men will not respect a woman if she doesn’t demand respect and men will follow a woman's standards. Now I agree a woman should demand respect and a woman should set her standards, however, a man should respect a woman regardless. Since when is it okay to disrespect a woman and treat her as if she is the one who caused it? Ladies do not be blinded by this. It is another way that men are placing the responsibility on women. We are led to believe that because of our actions or the actions of other women, men are not treating us the same. Its our own fault is what they are saying. We should be reminding ourselves that women are there reason men still exist. Without us how will they reproduce or find refuge when they need it. It is because of our maternal instinct men seek comfort in our arms. We have always had the power to create.

I remember all the men my older sister dated as I was growing up. I kept asking myself, why are they so medieval and why can’t she find herself a good man? It wasn’t that she didn’t demand respect, its how she demanded it and who she was asking it from. She would raise her voice plenty of times and tossed things around. Her boyfriend at the time would roll his eyes and throw things back as well. First of all, she was not using proper techniques. Second, the boyfriend did not care about her unhappiness. At that point, why stay together right? Its because we are lead to believe people will change if we change. We cannot change a person. The person must want to change themselves so that they can evolve into something else.

As I grew older and wiser, learning from my sisters failed relationships I realized that even when she attempted to be courteous and thoughtful, her efforts seemed to go unnoticed. It was because every now and then she retracted and was loose cannon when she went unappreciated. My next observation was that the name changed, but the character remained. This made me want to seek a reason why he was like that. It made me ask questions like; does he have a good relationship with his mother? does care to make her happy? does he attempt to do the right thing? does he respect women? how does he view himself? Of all the questions I asked myself to why a man would treat a woman indifferent. I came up with two answers. The relationship between both his parents matter and how he views himself. But that wasn’t the end of my search.

I also had some failed relationships, but I was the kind that was not going to waste years of my life only to realize he doesn’t make me happy. The max dates I had were six, the max months I gave the relationship was six. Although 90 days seems reasonable for some people, I don’t see it as enough time because you haven’t gone through anything yet, the first few months are still at honeymoon stage. I want to know if the next few years of my time will be well spent. Even if you're not looking to get married at the time you should not invest your time in someone who is not worthy of your time. A relationship is an investment towards your happiness. Try to remember that when you're thinking of dating someone, he should add to your happiness, not take away.

When it came to trying to find a good man I went back to the first two answers. does he have a good relationship with his parents and how does he view himself. I recall reading some male advice before and it said, if he treats his mother like a queen then he will treat you like a princess or if he sees himself as the provider, he will be able to take care of you emotionally as well. Guess what happened, I dated men who had these qualities and it turned out to be fail. I thought to myself, well where did I go wrong? Aha! there it is, where did I go wrong? You see how I thought about that. What happened here was that I thought if I act a certain way I would get a good man. Nope, that wasn’t the case here. I always thanked them, gave them compliments and tried to please them by being a good woman; however, that wasn’t enough for them to be a good man. What was missing from my puzzle? I tried to think, I let them know what I was looking for from the beginning and set my standards. I asked them what their plans were if they had any. I showed them respect and I also tended to their needs if they felt sick. If you're asking yourself right now “did you give up the cookie?” That question is irrelevant because studies show about 80 percent of women think it reduces their chances of a relationship, where 65 percent of men just don’t care, but to ease your mind,I don’t believe in a man putting his hands on me without my permission.

I looked at all the qualities of these type of men. The question of how they viewed themselves stood out. They saw themselves as a provider, but also as an alpha. Their whole mind set was that they knew they were a good catch for most woman. Not an ounce of humbleness was shown. Phrases like, “I’m selective, I am generous, I’m good man and I treat women like queens.” Even though they are all good things to hear, they are exactly what to watch out for. A gentleman doesn't have to say he is one because he shows it through his actions. And if he sees himself larger than life, he will not see you as an equal or place you on a pedestal.

My next thought was how did they express their thoughts on women. When I would ask randomly, “what do you think about her or what do think about women that love to hit up bars.”

If they were negative about women wearing skimpy clothes or celebrated their bodies half naked gave me the idea of their views on women. Both thoughts told me that women are objectified and that they must fit a category. Either opinion doesn't respect women, here’s why. If he says “she shouldn't create that kind of attention”; its saying, you're at fault and you get what you deserve. If he said, “great, she should flash those things; Its saying I don’t care because all she is to me is a sex object.” Now you're thinking, that makes no sense because either way he responds is wrong.  What he did was voice his judgment on women, when he could have said “I rather not judge her or I rather not talk about this.” Why do you think this separates him from other men? Because he chooses to respect her even if he doesn't know her by not speaking about her. After all she still a women.

I still have many more thoughts, but I found these to be important in my search for a good man. Ladies, don’t ask for a man to be gentleman because he should always be one. One very important thought is remind yourself how great you are and how much you can offer. A woman who values herself will always get respect from any man. You have to be strong and independent. What you put out in the world is what you receive. Never let someone sell you the idea that you are responsible to why men disrespect you. Men disrespect you because they disrespect women.

I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t made different decisions because I have evolved. I decided that my success in life was going to be because I want it. A man will not disrespect me ever and I will not make excuses for him. I also demand the same amount of respect I give out and I don’t place myself in situations which could lead to my destruction. In my eyes, I have evolved in a positive direction. My life lesson is always try to be a better version of you and good things will always follow.